31.6 Pounds and Still Going!

I just realized it's been a month since I last posted anything on my blog. Fortunately I haven't been quite as remiss with my weight loss efforts. I did get a bit sidetracked by visions of grilled cheese sandwiches and buttered popcorn but it was only a temporary detour. I've continued to slog along on this weight loss journey I began in January and I'm proud to report that as of today, I've lost 31.6 pounds! I'm hoping that if I keep going at this rate, I could be down 50 pounds by the time I turn 50 in May.

I'd love to say that it's gotten easier. But it hasn't. It's still just hard work. I'm eating healthier food and less of it. For my snacks, I have lean protein - a boiled egg, 4 oz. of lowfat cottage cheese or a low-fat cheese stick. I'm drinking lots of water. And I'm trying to move more. That part has been difficult because I have a torn meniscus. I had a cortisone injection in my knee last week and was hoping that would help but it didn't so I'll probably need to have surgery soon.

I completed the initial 6 week program with Lindora that I signed up for through Groupon. I had considered switching to Weight Watchers when that program ended, but instead I signed up for another 14 weeks with Lindora. Since this program is working for me, I'm going to stick with it. I'm not sure if the B-12 injections they give me are helping, but certainly the accountability of checking in with someone and weighing in twice a week is helpful. It makes it more difficult to get way off track.

Occasionally, I still "cheat." Last weekend, I had several glasses of wine -- which is definitely not on my program. But rather than feeling guilty, I just enjoyed it. (How could you not enjoy an amazing Paso Robles zinfandel?)

One of my challenges this past month has been avoiding Girl Scout cookies. They are everywhere. People try to sell them to you in your office, when you go to the grocery store, or in front of the drug store. I think Thin Mint cookies are like crack. Someone told me the recipe has changed, that they're not as good anymore. But I wouldn't know. I haven't had a single one this year. I know that if I have one, I will eat the whole sleeve. And then maybe later, another sleeve. With wine, I can have a glass or two and not crave it the next day. But not the cookies. If I have them, I will just want more.

I remember years ago in a Weight Watchers meeting, the leader used to always say "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."  I wouldn't know because I've never been what you would actually call thin. What I do know is that I can't still taste any of the things that made me fat. And none of them are making me feel good right now.

Down 21 Pounds and Craving a Grilled Cheese Sandwich

I'm now down 21 pounds and finding it hard to stick to my plan.

Until last Friday, I hadn't deviated from the program by even one bite. Then we went to a poker tournament fundraiser and I had a taquito and three tortilla chips. I should have planned ahead and eaten something before we went because the healthy food selections were limited.

After cheating with the taquito, it was easier to do it again. Two days later, my husband and I went to the movies and I had some popcorn. With butter.

After cheating a couple times, I stepped on the scale and found myself a pound heavier. What?! I thought it took 3500 calories to gain a pound and surely those two items didn't have 3500 calories. But apparently the Lindora eating plan somehow changes your metabolism and so when you deviate, it has more impact. Hmmm...

Religiously sticking to the program took that pound off and a little more so that I registered a total loss on Monday. You'd think I would have learned my lesson. But no, last night after a very healthy Valentine's dinner -- seafood and veggies -- I also had a small frozen yogurt. And a piece of candy. Ugh. Not going well... And this morning, again I registered a gain on the scale.

So today it's raining and I find myself craving a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup. There's nothing like dipping a crusty, creamy grilled cheese sandwich into a piping hot bowl of Campbell's tomato soup... But I know if I do that, I will be continuing farther off the path I've already strayed from.

Was the popcorn or the frozen yogurt really that good? What was it about eating them at that time that was really so important?

Apparently I still need to work on curbing cravings and focusing on my longterm goals. I guess if it was easy, I would have already lost the weight.

19.2 Pounds Down!

I've now completed two whole weeks on my new eating program and as of today, I am 19.2 pounds lighter than when I started. Yay!

In just those two weeks, my perspective on cheating has changed a little. One day a week, I have a "protein day" with this program, which means no fruits or vegetables. Yesterday, I was having a really tough time sticking to the plan and by dinner, I was ravenously hungy and light-headed. Brad had made halibut, asparagus and rice. I broke down and had some asparagus and then after dinner, I had a banana... But I still didn't have any rice. So I "cheated" technically, but in a different way than I would have before.

I'm Just Gonna Say No!

It's been a long day. I was on the computer responding to client emails by 7:30 a.m. and answering phone calls before 8 a.m. I've been out showing properties, submitted two purchase offers, reviewed a third that came in on one of my listings and worked on negotiating short sales.

And it's that time of the month. I'm realizing that this is one of those times when I would rationalize eating what I want... The mantra goes something like this: I've worked hard all day, I'm tired, I've got cramps, I'm achey and I deserve a treat.

My assistant mentioned meatloaf earlier and I've been thinking of it since then. I'd love to go to Sprouts and pick up a meatloaf (they have the best meatloafs in the universe for those of you who aren't watching your weight!)... A couple thick slices of meatloaf sounds wonderful.

But I'm just gonna say No tonight. Tomorrow morning, I will step on the scale and I know if I indulge, it will produce a higher number and take me off the path I've just embarked on. I hope that as time passes, it will become easier. But if not, I guess I will just get more used to it being hard.

First Week Results - Woo hoo!

I weighed in this morning and after my first full week on the Lindora program, I've lost 12 pounds! They say it's 14 pounds, but on Day #1 it was raining cats and dogs and I was wearing heavy boots. I know they weighed 2 pounds.

I understand that the first week's loss is the highest and subsequent weeks won't produce such dramatic results, but what a great way to start. Success is invigorating!

Dinner with Friends

I love to entertain. I love having friends over and we've always made sure there was plenty of everything -- appetizers, dinner, dessert, drinks, the works. Last night was our first attempt at entertaining while I was on Lindora and it was a success.

It helps that it was an impromptu dinner party with some of our dearest friends as guests. They happen to be on Weight Watchers so aren't wanting to overeat either.

No appetizers this time. Check. Dinner was grilled lean beef, a big salad, asparagus & squash for everyone plus baked sweet potatoes for Brad & the guests and a baked potato for my son Andrey (who actually wants to gain weight). Dessert was mixed berries (with fat-free Cool Whip for everyone but me). Our guests and Brad had red wine and port with the berries. I skipped it. No big deal and surprisingly I didn't even miss it.

I saw a Facebook post from someone yesterday who had just started a diet and then splurged at Farrells -- certainly a hard place to practice healthy eating. It was worth it, she said, because her family doesn't usually get to do things together. I could hear myself in those words. I have allowed myself that special treat so many times because I've had a bad day, or a good day or it was a holiday or a birthday or a Friday or Saturday or ... you get the picture. One time really doesn't make a difference but all the times together have added up to a lot of extra pounds.

Interestingly enough, the next few pages I read in the Lindora Lean for Life book last night was on rationalizations. I know I've heard this stuff before but maybe I wasn't ready to listen. I'm listening now. I will continue entertaining and celebrating and enjoying time with friends and family. But I'll do it differently.

The Beginning of a Journey

I've decided to start this blog because I want to chronicle my weight loss. I don't know if anyone out there will read this, but the fact that it's in a form that CAN be read by others somehow creates a feeling of accountability for me. I've tried to lose weight before, but never as much as I need to lose now. And never with any long-term success. I am determined that this time will be different.

My name is Shannon and I will turn 50 this year. I am happily married and have one son and four cats. I have a reasonably successful career and I live in a nice house in a suburban neighborhood of Long Beach. I like to travel, garden, play poker and read. And I am fat.

I don't usually acknowledge that fact. Despite my weight, I don't have a negative body image. Except for when I catch sight of myself in the mirror, I feel pretty normal most of the time.

When I was 40 or 50 or even 80 pounds overweight, I never let it slow me down. But now I am well over 100 pounds overweight. Perhaps in another post I will share the number. But right now I'm not comfortable with that. he weight itself, though, has become hard to ignore. When I fly, the airline seats and seat belts are too small. In restaurants, sometimes the booths are too cramped. I can't even recall the last time I shopped for clothes anywhere other than a plus-size clothing store.

High school - I'm the one on the right

I was always chubby as a kid and plump as an adult, other than a couple starving-myself-thin periods in high school and college. I've tried various diets over the years - Weight Watchers, the vegetable soup diet, the South Beach Diet, etc.... The yo-yo weight loss and weight gain has screwed up my metabolism, and ultimately resulted in an even heavier me.

I'm fortunate that my blood pressure, cholestorol, glucose levels, etc. are all normal but let's face it, being overweight still isn't healthy. And it isn't fun. This year is the year I reclaim my health and move toward a thinner me.

Last week, I signed up with Lindora, a weight loss program where you go twice a week to get B-12 shots. The goal is to eat a low-calorie, low carbohydrate, moderate protein diet that results in ketosis so your body will burn fat.

So far, so good. Within the first three days, I lost 6.5 pounds! I know it's probably mostly water weight, but what the heck, it's weight. And having a success means it's easier to stick to the eating plan.

As I'm writing this, my husband just came back from the grocery store and showed me the 4 ounce low-fat cottage cheese packs he bought for my protein snacks. I feel blessed that he is so supportive. We're stocked with lean proteins, vegetables, salad fixings and fruit. My goal is that by the end 2012, I will be at least 90 pounds lighter. It's a big goal, I know, but I'm determined to get smaller!